I’ll Know It When I See It; I’ll Be There When I Get There
I had to ask myself this morning, “What’s the plan for today? Where am I going and what am I doing and what do I need to do to prepare for the weeks ahead?”
My answer (and believe me, I wasn’t completely satisfied with it either), “I’ll know it when I see it and I’ll be there when I get there.”
I have a lot to accomplish in the next two weeks. Mainly a lot of loose ends to tie up — a one day job here, a half a day there, etc. — but it all has to be done. I have deadlines.
This is when the panic starts to weedle its way into my heart, my brain waves go all fuzzy, and my internal temperature gauge (aka the hot flash core of destruction) sends out waves of heat and distraction and sweat that threaten to pull me down and melt me into a puddle of fear and guilt and shame and exhaustion. Can I do what needs to get done? Who will I have to set aside, piss off or disappoint this week? On and on and on it goes.
But lately, thanks be to God, it is at times like these when I start to hear a song in my head. It starts out small and then grows in volume until I have no choice but to sing along. Will you sing with me?
Trust and obey, for there’s no other way
To be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.
This song brings me back to a place that was safe and beautiful, a place where I felt pride for who I was and who I was with, a place of tenderness and love and security: standing next to my mother in church, hymnals open, her strong, sweet alto voice harmonizing, calling out over the heads of the other church goers, filling me with the assurance of my place in this world, of hope, of love, of the knowledge of better things to come in a world I know very little about but hope and yearn for with all my heart.
It’s a beautiful place to be, Mother, thank you for giving it to me. What a friend we have in Jesus, thank you for showing me The Way. I love you.
Are we weak and heavy laden,
cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our refuge,
Take it to the Lord in Prayer.
Do thy friends despise, forsake thee?
Take it to the Lord in prayer.
In his arms He’ll take and shield thee,
Thou wilt find a solace there.