What Do You Do When It’s Not What You Wanted It To Be?
This seems to be a running theme with me lately: What do you do when it’s not what you wanted it to be? A running theme in Life and in Quilting.
After I finished quilting the center block of the Christmas on the Roundabout Road quilt, I sat back to take an admiring look and found I wasn’t happy with what I had done. I let out a heavy sigh, leading Big Man to inquire, “What?”
“Oh, nothing. I just don’t like what I did.”
He came into the room to have a look see, “Huh. So why did you do it that way then?”
I threw an evil look his way and answered, “Because I was really hoping I could eff it up, that’s why.”
Ouch. Oh yeah. He walked away. I get to feel like a grumpy witch. WTHeck.
On my prayer blog this morning I talked about how we share our stories with each other, our disappointments, our failures. I quoted John O’Donahue, author of Anam Cara: “Your identity is not equivalent to your biography.”
It makes me wonder, am I only as good as my last stitch? Surely not. And I have a pretty firm “don’t rip it unless you really really really have to policy” so…now what? Let it sit? See if it grows on me?
My friend and guide, Diane, this morning in her blog post titled To Change or not to Change said:
“. . .if we could actually see and accept ourselves as we are without always wishing we — or our lives — were different, then we would pay more attention to the task at hand instead of wishing or worrying. And wouldn’t that make us more effective?” -Diane Walker, Contemplative Photography
I have a lot of quilts to make. What I mean is, I have a lot of quilts to give, to create, do I want to spend my time wishing my quilts were different? Ripping out stitching? Living in disappointment? Or do I move on, carry on, leave the seam ripper in the drawer and accept my stitches as they are — accept ME as I am?
Anyway, as Big Man (brave man!) ventured as he was heading out of the room, “It’s not supposed to be perfect, it’s art.”